Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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