Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She bit a glass in half.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Floor bacon is actually really good
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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