So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We need to get me chipped asap
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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