I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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