Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
