She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
