It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
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