Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
