so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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