I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
