do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you will always have a special place in my vag
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
