Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
