No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
