Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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