Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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