can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Randomize
