i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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