I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
