Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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