no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
