I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
