11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
