trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
