it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
