I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
