You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
