how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
