sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize