It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
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