So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
