I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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