I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
