I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
