the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
two words...techno handjob
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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