dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
