I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
