I'm lost and stupid without you.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize