It's Friday. Sex?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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