that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize