I hate all girls vehemently.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
