pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
