I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize