He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
