guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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