oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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