he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
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