We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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