yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
