based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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