I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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