She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
