i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
