You smell like a Billy Joel song
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
