Do you still have your period?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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