It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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