I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
